To report domestic violence, call 911 if you are in immediate danger or if the abuser is present, and call your local police department’s non-emergency line if the incident has passed but you want it on the record. Either call triggers a police response and an official incident report, and that report is the foundation for everything that follows: criminal charges against the abuser, a civil protective order, housing and workplace protections, and, for non-citizens, immigration relief. You do not need money, an attorney, or citizenship to start this process.
Before You Pick Up the Phone
If you can take a few minutes without increasing your risk, think through where you will go and what you will bring. Identify three or four safe places (a friend, a relative, a shelter) and pack a small bag with identification, birth certificates, insurance cards, medication information, and any existing court orders. If you can safely set aside cash or open an account the abuser does not know about, do it. A prepaid phone stored separately can serve as a backup if your primary phone is monitored.
One caution before you make the call: if you share devices or your partner has ever had access to your phone or accounts, assume that access may still exist. Researching options, dialing a hotline, or changing settings on a monitored device can alert an abuser. When in doubt, use a trusted friend’s phone, a library computer, or a device at a shelter to make the report.
What Happens When You Call the Police
When officers arrive, their first job is to secure the scene and separate you from the abuser. They take statements from everyone present, including witnesses, and decide whether there is probable cause that a crime occurred. In roughly half the states, officers are required by law to arrest the person they identify as the primary aggressor when they find probable cause of a domestic violence offense. Most departments in the remaining states have pro-arrest policies that push officers toward arrest rather than simple separation.
Before the officers leave, they should complete a written incident report. Ask for a copy or find out exactly how and when you can obtain one, and ask for the report number. That document is evidence for every step that follows: criminal prosecution, a protective order hearing, a housing transfer request, an immigration petition. You are entitled to this documentation, so do not leave without knowing how to get it.
Documenting the Abuse
A single report is a start. A pattern is what convinces a judge. Keep a detailed log of every incident with the date, time, location, and a factual description of what the abuser did or said, using exact words when you can remember them. Over weeks and months, that log shows a pattern no single police report can.
Photograph injuries, bruises, and property damage. Most smartphones embed date and location data automatically. Get medical attention and make sure the provider records the cause in your chart; emergency room and follow-up records that link an injury to an assault carry significant weight in court. Save every threatening or controlling text, email, voicemail, and social media message. Screenshot them and back them up somewhere the abuser cannot reach, such as a separate email account or cloud storage. Note the names and contact information of any witnesses.
Getting a Protective Order
A protective order is a court order that legally prohibits the abuser from contacting you, coming near you, or engaging in specific conduct. Different states call it a restraining order or an order of protection, but the process is similar everywhere. You do not need an attorney to file. Under the Violence Against Women Act, jurisdictions that receive federal VAWA funding cannot charge you filing fees, service fees, or any other costs tied to obtaining a protective order.
The Temporary Order
You start at the county courthouse or local clerk’s office by filling out a petition describing the abuse and the protection you need. A judge often reviews the petition the same day and can issue a temporary order without the abuser present. This is called an ex parte order because only your side has been heard. A temporary order generally lasts about 14 days, though some states allow extensions, and it gives you immediate legal protection while the court schedules a full hearing.1Legal Information Institute. Temporary Restraining Order The court clerk or sheriff’s office serves the abuser; you do not have to arrange it, and the cost cannot be passed to you.
The Full Hearing
At the full hearing, both sides can present evidence and testimony. Your police reports, photographs, medical records, saved messages, and witnesses become exhibits. If the judge finds the order warranted, they can issue a final order lasting a year or longer depending on the state. A final order can require the abuser to stay a specified distance from you, your home, your workplace, and your children’s school; prohibit all contact, including through third parties; grant you temporary custody of children; order the abuser to vacate a shared residence; and require them to surrender firearms.
The Firearms Provision
The firearms piece carries federal criminal weight and is worth asking for specifically. Under federal law, a person subject to a qualifying protective order is prohibited from possessing any firearm or ammunition. The order qualifies if it was issued after a hearing where the abuser received notice and had an opportunity to participate, and if it either includes a finding that the abuser is a credible threat to your physical safety or explicitly prohibits the use or threatened use of physical force against you.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. United States Code Title 18 – 922 Violating this prohibition is a federal crime punishable by up to 10 years in prison.3Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Protection Orders and Federal Firearms Prohibitions At the hearing, you can ask the judge to explicitly order surrender of firearms to law enforcement. That gives police a clear mandate to collect weapons rather than relying on voluntary compliance, and it is easy to overlook in the moment.
If the Abuser Violates the Order
Call 911 as soon as any term of the order is broken. A violation is a separate criminal offense in every state, usually a misdemeanor for a first offense, with repeated violations or violations involving weapons often escalating to felony charges.
Federal law adds another layer when the abuser crosses state lines or enters tribal land to violate a protective order. Sentences scale with the harm caused:
- No physical injury: up to 5 years in federal prison
- Serious bodily injury or use of a dangerous weapon: up to 10 years
- Permanent disfigurement or life-threatening injury: up to 20 years
- Death of the victim: life imprisonment
These penalties apply to interstate violations of protection orders under 18 U.S.C. ยง 2262,4Office of the Law Revision Counsel. United States Code Title 18 – 2262 and the same structure applies when an abuser travels interstate to commit domestic violence under a companion statute.5Office of the Law Revision Counsel. United States Code Title 18 – 2261
Document every violation, no matter how minor. Save the text that broke a no-contact order. Photograph the abuser near your home if you can do so safely. Each documented violation strengthens any petition to extend or modify your order and builds the record for prosecution.
Your Order Follows You Across State Lines
Moving does not void your order. The full faith and credit provision of VAWA requires every state, tribe, and territory to recognize and enforce a valid protective order issued anywhere in the United States, treating it as though it were issued locally.6Office of the Law Revision Counsel. United States Code Title 18 – 2265 The original order must have come from a court with jurisdiction, and the abuser must have received notice and an opportunity to be heard (or, for temporary ex parte orders, must receive that opportunity within a reasonable time). You do not need to re-register the order in the new state for it to be enforceable, though registering it with local law enforcement puts it in their system for faster response.
Housing Protections That Come With Reporting
If you live in federally subsidized or assisted housing, VAWA prohibits your housing provider from evicting you or ending your assistance because of domestic violence committed against you.7U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) You also cannot be denied admission because of problems caused by the abuse, including a damaged credit history, eviction record, or criminal record tied to the violence.
VAWA gives you the right to request an emergency transfer to another unit if you reasonably believe staying puts you at risk of harm. You can request this transfer even if you owe back rent. If you hold a Section 8 Housing Choice Voucher, you can move with continued assistance. Lease bifurcation lets a housing provider split the lease to remove the abuser while you and any remaining household members stay. If removing the abuser means losing the person who technically qualified for the housing, the provider must give you a reasonable period to establish your own eligibility or find other housing.8U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. HUD-5380 – Housing Rights for Victims You can document your survivor status with a self-certification form (HUD Form 5382) without a police report or court order.
These federal protections apply to HUD-subsidized housing. If you rent on the private market, check your state’s laws. A majority of states now let domestic violence survivors terminate a residential lease early without penalty, typically with written notice and documentation such as a protective order or police report. Notice periods and documentation requirements vary.
Workplace Leave and Address Confidentiality
Attending court, meeting with attorneys, getting medical care, and relocating all take time. More than half the states now require employers to provide some form of leave for domestic violence survivors to handle these needs. Some guarantee a set number of days per year; others provide unpaid but job-protected time off. Qualifying reasons typically include seeking a protective order, attending court, obtaining medical care or counseling, and finding new housing. Even without a state law, the federal Family and Medical Leave Act may cover time off for medical treatment related to injuries from abuse if you meet its eligibility requirements.
If your biggest concern is the abuser locating you through public records, most states run an address confidentiality program through the attorney general’s office. These programs give you a substitute mailing address to use on public documents like voter registration, driver’s licenses, and utility accounts. Your actual address stays out of public records, and mail sent to the substitute address is forwarded to you. Enrollment usually requires demonstrating that you have moved or are moving and that you fear for your safety.
Immigration Relief for Non-Citizen Survivors
Immigration status is one of the most powerful tools abusers use to keep control, and federal law provides confidential pathways that do not require the abuser’s knowledge or cooperation.
VAWA Self-Petition
If your abuser is a U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident, you can file a self-petition for immigrant classification without the abuser’s knowledge or consent. This applies to abused spouses, children, and parents of U.S. citizen adult sons or daughters. You file Form I-360, and USCIS reviews the petition confidentially.9U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. Green Card for VAWA Self-Petitioner You must show that you experienced battery or extreme cruelty during the qualifying relationship, that you lived with the abuser, and that you are a person of good moral character. The standard is “more likely than not,” lower than what criminal cases require. Personal statements, police reports, medical records, photographs, and affidavits from people who know about the abuse all count as support.10U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. USCIS Policy Manual Volume 3, Part D, Chapter 2 – Eligibility Requirements and Evidence
U Visa
The U visa is available to noncitizens who have suffered substantial physical or mental abuse as the victim of a qualifying crime (domestic violence is included) and who have cooperated, or are willing to cooperate, with law enforcement in investigating or prosecuting that crime. You need a law enforcement certification (Form I-918, Supplement B) signed by the agency confirming your victim status and cooperation.11U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. Victims of Criminal Activity – U Nonimmigrant Status Congress caps U visas at 10,000 per year, so there is a significant waiting list. While you wait, USCIS can grant deferred action and work authorization once it determines your petition is bona fide. Qualifying crimes include domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking, kidnapping, felonious assault, and about two dozen others.12U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. USCIS Policy Manual Volume 3, Part C, Chapter 2 – Eligibility Requirements for U Nonimmigrant Status
Both processes are confidential. USCIS will not contact the abuser or share information about your filing. Many legal aid organizations handle VAWA and U visa cases for free.
If You Are Not Ready to Call the Police
You do not have to involve law enforcement or the courts to get help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline operates around the clock, 365 days a year, with trained advocates who provide crisis support, safety planning, and referrals to local resources. Call 800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or use the live chat on their website.13National Domestic Violence Hotline. Domestic Violence Support Services are available in more than 200 languages.14Administration for Children and Families. ACF Hotlines and Helplines
Local domestic violence agencies and shelters provide emergency housing, emotional support, legal advocacy, and help with paperwork for protective orders and benefit applications. Advocates work confidentially and independently of the criminal justice system. They do not report your situation to police unless child abuse is involved, which means you can explore your options at your own pace without triggering an investigation you are not ready for. Using one resource does not lock you out of any other, and there is no wrong entry point.