If you and your partner live in different states, you can get married in either of your states or in a third state entirely, and the marriage will be fully legal in both places you call home. That is the short answer to getting married when living in different states: pick the state that makes the most sense logistically, apply for the license together at that county’s clerk’s office, hold the ceremony within the license’s validity window, and the certificate you walk away with is recognized everywhere in the country.
The Full Faith and Credit Clause of the U.S. Constitution requires every state to honor the “public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State.”1Library of Congress. Overview of Full Faith and Credit Clause Congress reinforced this in 2022 with the Respect for Marriage Act, which prohibits any state from denying rights arising from a marriage that was valid where it was performed.2Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 28 U.S. Code 1738C – Certain Acts, Records, and Proceedings So the real decision is practical, not legal.
Choosing Which State to Marry In
Most states have no residency requirement, meaning neither of you needs to live there to apply for a license and hold the ceremony. A handful route the paperwork differently for nonresidents but still allow it, usually by requiring you to apply in the county where the ceremony will take place rather than where either partner lives.
Once residency is off the table, a few practical factors decide the location:
- Waiting periods. About 18 states impose a mandatory gap between applying for the license and being able to use it. The longest waits are three days, and many of those states will waive the period for hardship. The rest issue the license immediately or the same day.
- License fees. Costs range roughly from $20 to $115 depending on the state and county. Some states discount the fee by $20 to $60 or more for couples who complete a premarital education course.
- License validity. Once issued, the license is only good for a set window in which the ceremony must happen. That window runs from 30 days in some states to a full year in others, and a few states set no expiration at all. If you’re planning a ceremony weeks or months after applying, pick a state with a longer window.
- Travel for guests. If you’re having anyone else at the ceremony, weigh which location minimizes travel for the people who matter most.
Applying for the License Together
Both partners generally must appear together in person at the county clerk’s office or vital records office to apply. This is the step that requires the most coordination when you live apart, since at least one of you has to travel to the other’s state (or both of you to a third state). Some jurisdictions offer online pre-applications that let you complete paperwork and upload documents ahead of time, but the in-person visit is rarely optional.
The simplest way to handle this is to combine the license application with the ceremony trip. Apply a day or two before the wedding so both of you only make one trip. In a state with no waiting period, you can apply in the morning and marry that afternoon. In a state with a waiting period, plan your travel around it.
Once the license is issued, the validity clock starts. Let it expire without holding the ceremony and you’ll reapply and pay again.
What to Bring
Every state asks for essentially the same core information: full legal names, current addresses, dates and places of birth, and parents’ full names. U.S. citizens provide Social Security numbers. Bring a valid government-issued photo ID; some states also want a birth certificate.
If either of you was previously married, expect to show proof that the prior marriage ended: a certified divorce decree, or a death certificate if the former spouse died. These must be originals or certified copies from the issuing agency, not photocopies. Blood tests are essentially a thing of the past, and virtually every state has dropped that requirement.
The minimum age for marriage without parental involvement is 18 in almost every state.
The Ceremony
The ceremony must happen within the license’s validity period and be performed by someone the state authorizes. Every state recognizes judges, justices of the peace, and ordained or authorized clergy. Some states expand that to notary publics, county clerks, or ship captains. If your officiant was ordained online, check whether the state recognizes online ordinations; most do, but a few are stricter. Some states also require the officiant to register with the county or state before performing the ceremony, which is more common for out-of-state ministers and online ordinations. Confirm registration well before the wedding date.
Witness requirements vary. Many states require one or two adult witnesses to sign the license; others require none. If you’re having a small courthouse ceremony without your own witnesses, many clerk’s offices will provide staff witnesses for a small fee.
Self-Uniting Marriages
A few states let couples marry themselves with no officiant. Colorado and Washington, D.C. are the most flexible, requiring no officiant and no witnesses. Pennsylvania offers a “self-uniting” marriage license that skips the officiant but still requires witnesses. Several other states, including Wisconsin, Illinois, and Maine, allow self-solemnization under religious exemptions. For couples who don’t want to hunt down an authorized officiant in an unfamiliar state, this can simplify the ceremony considerably.
When You Truly Can’t Travel Together
If being in the same place at the same time isn’t realistic, two alternatives exist.
Remote (Video) Marriage in Utah
Utah allows couples to apply for a marriage license and complete the ceremony entirely by video conference, with neither partner physically present in the state. The process has been available since 2020 and has been used by thousands of couples worldwide. A 2025 bill proposed restricting remote ceremonies to Utah residents, but the restrictive provisions were removed before the bill was signed, leaving the remote option intact for now. Confirm current eligibility directly with the Utah county clerk’s office before relying on it, since the rules have drawn ongoing legislative attention.
Proxy Marriage
Proxy marriage allows a stand-in to take the place of an absent partner at the ceremony. Only a handful of states permit it, and most restrict eligibility to active-duty military members stationed overseas. Montana is unique in allowing double-proxy marriage, where neither partner needs to be physically present, and its eligibility extends beyond military service to include Montana residents. Kansas and Texas also allow single-proxy marriages under limited circumstances. The absent partner typically grants power of attorney to the stand-in, who signs the license on their behalf.
After the Wedding
The ceremony is only part of the legal process. What happens in the following weeks determines whether the marriage is properly recorded and usable.
After the ceremony, the officiant and any required witnesses sign the license, and the officiant returns it to the issuing clerk’s office for recording. Deadlines vary widely, from as few as three days to as many as 30. Late filing generally doesn’t invalidate the marriage, but it delays your ability to get certified copies and can complicate name changes and benefits enrollment. Confirm with your officiant that they understand the deadline.
Once the clerk records the marriage, order certified copies from the vital records office in the state where the ceremony took place. These are the documents you’ll actually use for updating names, adding a spouse to insurance, filing joint taxes, and changing beneficiaries. Order several; most people underestimate how many they’ll need. Fees typically run between $6 and $35 per copy, and processing can take a few days at the local level or several weeks through the state agency.
If either of you is changing your name, the Social Security Administration should be the first stop. Submit Form SS-5 with your certified marriage certificate (the original or a certified copy, not a photocopy) to update your Social Security record.3Social Security Administration. Application for Social Security Card Most other agencies and institutions want to see the SSA update reflected before they’ll process the change on their end, so start there and work outward to your driver’s license, passport, bank accounts, and employer records.
One Note on the Wedding Date
The IRS determines your filing status based on whether you’re married on December 31. If you’re married on that date, you’re considered married for the entire tax year, even if the ceremony was the day before.4Internal Revenue Service. Publication 501 (2025), Dependents, Standard Deduction, and Filing Information For 2026, the standard deduction for married couples filing jointly is $32,200, compared to $16,100 for single filers.5Internal Revenue Service. IRS Releases Tax Inflation Adjustments for Tax Year 2026 Two similar earners sometimes face a slightly higher combined bill when married, while couples with one high earner and one lower earner often benefit from the joint return. If your wedding is late in the year, running the numbers both ways before locking in a date can be worth the hour it takes.