To get married in the military, you follow the same civilian marriage license and ceremony process as anyone else, then register your spouse in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS) and enroll them in TRICARE within 90 days. That administrative chain is what turns a wedding into military benefits: healthcare, a dependent ID, the with-dependents housing allowance, and legal protections for your spouse. Miss the deadlines and you can end up with coverage gaps that are hard to fix.
You Don’t Need Your Commander’s Permission
No law or regulation requires a service member to get command approval before marrying, and you can marry whomever you choose. Service academy cadets are the exception; they cannot marry until they graduate or leave the academy. Fraternization rules also generally prohibit marriages between enlisted members and officers, though exceptions exist, such as when a couple married before one was commissioned.
You do need to notify your command after the marriage. That notification starts the administrative process for updating your records. If you hold a security clearance or are marrying a foreign national, reporting timelines get tighter.
Getting the Marriage License and Holding the Ceremony
The legal side is identical to any civilian marriage. Apply for a license at the county clerk’s office (or equivalent local authority) where the ceremony will take place. Both of you need valid photo ID: a driver’s license, passport, or military ID. If either of you was previously married, bring certified copies of divorce decrees or death certificates for former spouses.
Most jurisdictions impose a short waiting period between application and issuance, and the license itself is valid for a limited window, often 30 to 90 days, during which the ceremony must occur. An authorized officiant, meaning a judge, minister, justice of the peace, or military chaplain, performs the ceremony. Many installations have chapels available and base chaplains can officiate, though scheduling varies. After the ceremony, the officiant and any required witnesses sign the license, which is returned to the issuing office for recording.
Once recorded, order several certified copies of the marriage certificate right away. You will need them for DEERS, insurance updates, and other paperwork, and photocopies are not accepted at the ID card office.
Registering Your Spouse in DEERS
This is the step that actually matters for benefits. Until your spouse is enrolled in DEERS, nothing else moves: no TRICARE, no dependent ID card, no pay changes. The service member initiates the update at an installation ID card office or personnel center.
Bring the following, all as originals or certified copies:1TRICARE. Required Documents
- Certified marriage certificate (the recorded copy from the county, not just the signed ceremony document)
- Spouse’s birth certificate
- Spouse’s Social Security card
- Spouse’s government-issued photo ID (driver’s license or passport)
- Service member’s military ID
Once enrolled, your spouse can receive a Uniformed Services Identification and Privilege Card, which grants access to installations, commissaries, exchanges, and other base facilities. Update your emergency contact information with your command at the same time.
The 90-day mark from your wedding date is the deadline you cannot afford to miss. DEERS enrollment must happen before you can make any TRICARE changes, and the qualifying life event window for healthcare enrollment closes at 90 days.2TRICARE Newsroom. TRICARE and Marriage: What to Do When Getting Married
Enrolling Your Spouse in TRICARE
Marriage is a qualifying life event that lets you enroll your spouse in a TRICARE health plan. Coverage is effective back to the date of the marriage itself, not the date you submit paperwork, so as long as you act within 90 days there is no gap.2TRICARE Newsroom. TRICARE and Marriage: What to Do When Getting Married
The main plan options for a new spouse are:3TRICARE. New Spouses
- TRICARE Prime, a managed-care plan with assigned primary care managers, lower out-of-pocket costs, and referrals required for specialty care
- TRICARE Select, a self-managed preferred-provider option with more flexibility to see any TRICARE-authorized provider without referrals, but higher cost-shares
- US Family Health Plan, available in certain geographic areas as an alternative to Prime
Miss the 90-day window and your spouse will have to wait until the next TRICARE open season or another qualifying life event. That can mean months without military healthcare. This is where most new military families stumble, because the wedding feels like the main event and the paperwork feels like it can wait. It can’t.
Updating Pay, Allowances, and Beneficiaries
Marriage triggers several financial changes that need attention.
Basic Allowance for Housing
If you were drawing BAH at the without-dependents rate, marriage moves you to the with-dependents rate, which varies by pay grade and duty station ZIP code.4MilitaryPay. Types of BAH If you were living in barracks, marriage may qualify you to move off base and start receiving BAH altogether. The change isn’t automatic; notify your finance office after your records are updated.
Life Insurance
Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI) provides up to $500,000 in coverage for the service member.5U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. SGLI/FSGLI Premium Discount FAQs Review and update your beneficiary designation through the SGLI Online Enrollment System (SOES) on milConnect.6milConnect. Adding a Beneficiary
Your spouse also becomes eligible for Family SGLI (FSGLI), which provides up to $100,000 of coverage. If your spouse is a civilian and you carry full-time SGLI, FSGLI coverage is automatic and the premium is deducted from your pay. If your spouse is also in the military, automatic coverage does not apply and you must enroll through SOES.7U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. Family Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (FSGLI)
Thrift Savings Plan
Update your TSP beneficiary designation. If you don’t, the account will pay out to whoever is currently listed, even an ex-spouse who waived all rights in a divorce settlement.8Thrift Savings Plan. Designating Beneficiaries The fix takes minutes online. Skipping it can create a legal mess that takes years to unwind.
Tax Residency and SCRA Protections
Under federal law, a military spouse can keep the tax residency of their home state, or elect to use the service member’s state of legal residence or the permanent duty station, even when stationed elsewhere. A spouse working in a high-income-tax state can potentially avoid that state’s income tax if their home state has no income tax or a lower rate.9Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 50 USC 4001 – Residence for Tax Purposes The same statute protects against personal property taxes in the duty station state; vehicles, for example, can’t be taxed there solely because of military orders, as long as the property isn’t used in a trade or business.
The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act caps interest at 6% on debts incurred before the service member entered active duty. This applies to debts held jointly by the service member and spouse, including mortgages, car loans, and credit cards. The lender must forgive any interest above 6% during the period of military service, and for mortgages the protection extends one year beyond the end of service. Debts in the spouse’s name alone don’t qualify.10GovInfo. 50 USC 3937 – Maximum Rate of Interest on Debts Incurred Before Military Service
Marriage also opens the door to filing federal taxes jointly. Both spouses normally must sign a joint return, but if one is absent due to military duties, the other can sign on their behalf.11Internal Revenue Service. Helpful Information for Military Personnel Executing a will and setting up powers of attorney early lets your spouse manage financial and legal affairs during deployments.
If You’re Both Active Duty
When two service members marry, both go through the same DEERS update, each through their own branch’s personnel system. The biggest practical concern is staying stationed together.
Each branch runs a co-location program. The Army calls it the Married Army Couples Program (MACP); the Air Force calls it Join Spouse. Neither guarantees you’ll be at the same installation, but assignment managers consider co-location when slots open. In the Army, enrollment is automatic once both members update their marital status in DEERS.12Human Resources Command. Married Army Couples Program The Air Force requires couples to update a join spouse intent code in the virtual Military Personnel Flight system, which takes priority over individual base-of-preference requests.13Air Force’s Personnel Center. Join Spouse Assignment Consideration Keeps Mil-to-Mil Couples Together
Both service members generally receive their own BAH, at rates set by each person’s rank and duty station. If you have children, one spouse typically claims them and draws the with-dependents rate while the other draws the without-dependents rate.4MilitaryPay. Types of BAH Dual-military couples with children under 19 must also maintain a Family Care Plan naming a non-military caregiver in case both parents deploy simultaneously; the plan is due within 30 days of being counseled on the requirement.
Getting Married While Deployed
Proxy marriage is an option if you can’t be physically present, but only in a few states. Montana is the most flexible for service members, allowing double proxy marriages where neither party attends as long as one is on active duty. Colorado requires one party to be out of state. Texas requires one party to be present in the state with a signed affidavit from the absent partner. California limits proxy marriage to service members deployed for active hostilities.
A proxy marriage performed legally in one of these states is generally recognized by other states and by the military for DEERS enrollment and benefits. The requirements are specific and vary within the states that allow it, so talk to your unit’s legal assistance office before starting.
Marrying a Foreign National
The ceremony follows the same license process, but the post-wedding steps multiply. To bring your spouse to the United States, file Form I-130 (Petition for Alien Relative) with U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services as the first step in the immigration process.14U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. I-130, Petition for Alien Relative Visa applications, embassy or consulate interviews, and documentation to establish the legitimacy of the marriage follow. The process takes months.
If you hold a security clearance, report the marriage to your security manager promptly. Foreign ties from a spouse trigger additional scrutiny during clearance investigations, and failing to report can jeopardize your clearance independent of any actual security concern. Service members with Top Secret or “Q” eligibility must report the marriage to their Facility Security Officer.
If you’re stationed overseas, your spouse may qualify for expedited naturalization under Section 319(b) of the Immigration and Nationality Act. That provision waives the normal residency and physical presence requirements for spouses of U.S. citizens employed by the government abroad, including military members. Your spouse still needs to be a lawful permanent resident first and must enter the U.S. for the naturalization interview and oath ceremony.15USCIS Policy Manual. Spouses, Children, and Surviving Family Benefits