To fill out a funeral directive form, you make four decisions and record them in writing: how your body should be handled, who has authority to carry that out, what kind of service (if any) you want, and how it will be paid for. Then you sign the form under your state’s rules — usually before a notary, two witnesses, or both — and put copies in the hands of the people who will need them within a day or two of your death. Done properly, the form overrides the default order in which state law would otherwise assign these decisions to your relatives.
Why the Form Is Worth the Hour It Takes
Every state has a statute that ranks who controls a deceased person’s remains when no written instructions exist: surviving spouse first, then adult children, then parents, then siblings, then more distant relatives. Two adult children who disagree about burial versus cremation can deadlock the process entirely, leaving a funeral home unable to proceed until a judge rules.
A signed directive jumps ahead of that hierarchy. The agent you name takes legal priority over your spouse, your children, and everyone else on the statutory list, and funeral homes are generally required to follow the instructions in the directive or the decisions of your appointed agent even if other relatives object.
Choose a Disposition Method
This is the single most important entry on the form. Vague language invites argument; direct language does not. Write “I direct that my remains be cremated,” not “I prefer cremation if possible.”
The common options:
- Traditional burial. Your body is prepared (and sometimes embalmed), placed in a casket, and interred in a cemetery plot. If you already own a plot, include the cemetery name, lot number, and any deed information on the form.
- Cremation. Your body is reduced to remains that can be kept in an urn, scattered, or interred in a columbarium niche. Specify what should happen with the ashes; survivors often struggle with that decision when it isn’t spelled out.
- Entombment. Your casket is placed in an above-ground mausoleum rather than buried underground. Note the specific facility if you have one in mind.
- Natural organic reduction. Sometimes called human composting, the process transforms your body into soil over roughly 45 days. About a dozen states have legalized it so far, including Washington, Colorado, and California, with several others passing laws between 2023 and 2025. If your state hasn’t authorized it, your body can be transported to a state that has.
- Body donation. Your remains go to a medical school or research institution. This usually requires separate paperwork with the receiving institution, so note in your directive that you’ve made those arrangements and where the documentation is stored.
Name an Agent and a Successor
Your agent is the person who will carry out or oversee your instructions. Pick someone you trust to follow through, not necessarily the relative you’re closest to. A responsible friend who lives nearby and handles pressure well can be a better choice than a sibling across the country who shuts down in a crisis.
On the form, include the agent’s full legal name, current address, phone number, and email. Name at least one successor agent in case your first choice can’t serve; people move, become ill, or predecease you. Everyone you name should know they’ve been designated before you sign. An agent who learns about the role for the first time while standing in a funeral home lobby isn’t set up for success.
Talk through your preferences with your agent in detail. The form captures the essentials; a conversation fills in the gaps — the music you want, whether your uncle who plays guitar should be invited to perform, whether you care about the brand of casket or just the material.
Fill In the Service and Money Details
Beyond disposition and agent, a thorough directive addresses the practical questions that surface in the first hours after a death.
- Funeral home preference. If you have a relationship with a particular funeral home or a prepaid contract, list the name, address, and contract number.
- Service type. Whether you want a religious ceremony, a secular memorial, a graveside-only service, or no service at all.
- Embalming. State clearly whether you consent. No state requires embalming for prompt burial or cremation, and the federal Funeral Rule requires funeral homes to disclose that. Writing “I decline embalming” on the form puts your agent in a stronger position if a provider tries to push it.1Federal Trade Commission. The FTC Funeral Rule
- Casket or container. Specify material preferences (wood, metal, biodegradable) or say that a rental casket for viewing followed by cremation is acceptable. If you want a casket bought from an outside vendor, note that on the form; funeral homes cannot refuse to handle a casket or urn purchased elsewhere and cannot charge a fee for accepting it.2Federal Trade Commission. Complying with the Funeral Rule
- Financial information. Note where funds for services are located: a payable-on-death bank account, a preneed insurance policy, or a specific savings account. The median cost of a funeral with burial runs roughly $8,000 to $9,000; cremation funerals average less. Survivors who know where the money is can act faster and avoid fronting costs out of pocket.
- Special instructions. Organ or tissue donation preferences, specific clothing, jewelry to be included or excluded, charitable donations in lieu of flowers, obituary preferences.
Sign It Under Your State’s Rules
A funeral directive only works if it’s legally valid, and execution requirements vary by state. The two common paths are notarization and witness signatures, and some states accept either.
If your state requires notarization, sign the form in front of a notary public who verifies your identity and stamps the document. Notary fees are modest, typically in the single digits to low teens per document depending on your state’s fee schedule. Many banks, shipping stores, and libraries offer notary services.
If your state requires witnesses instead, you’ll generally need two adults who watch you sign and then sign the form themselves. Witnesses usually cannot be the agent you’ve named, an employee of the funeral home listed in the directive, or anyone with a financial interest in your arrangements. Some states, like Michigan, also disqualify employees of cemeteries or crematories that will handle your remains.
The safest approach if you’re unsure of your state’s rules: do both. Have two qualified witnesses present and get the document notarized. That method satisfies virtually every state’s requirements. A form that fails execution can be thrown out entirely, dumping the decisions back onto the statutory next-of-kin list.
Where do you get the form itself? Some state health departments and bar associations publish standardized templates. Your estate planning attorney likely has one. A few states embed the form language directly in their statutes. If you’re downloading a template online, verify it matches your state’s current statutory requirements; a generic form from another jurisdiction may omit a required disclosure or use the wrong witness rules.
Store the Original and Distribute Copies
A perfectly executed directive that nobody can find is worthless. Decisions about remains often need to happen within 24 to 48 hours, so accessibility matters more than security. A safe deposit box is one of the worst places for the original; banks typically require a court order or death certificate to open one, and you may not have either yet when the funeral home is waiting.
Keep the original in a fireproof home safe or a clearly labeled folder with your other estate documents. Then distribute copies to:
- Your designated agent and successor agent, who need it immediately and shouldn’t have to search.
- Your chosen funeral home, so the facility already has your instructions on file when the call comes.
- Your primary care physician, especially relevant if you die in a medical setting.
- Your estate planning attorney, who can produce a copy if all others are lost.
Email a scanned copy to your agent and a trusted family member so it’s accessible from anywhere. A few states are beginning to accept electronic signatures on advance directives, but the safest practice is still to treat the wet-ink original as controlling and use digital copies for reference and backup.
Keeping the Directive Current
You can revoke or replace the form at any time while you’re competent. Common methods: physically destroy the original, sign a written revocation, or execute a new directive. A new directive with a later date supersedes an older one. If you’re revoking because your agent can no longer serve, don’t leave a gap; sign a new directive with a new agent at the same time.
Minor updates like a new phone number for your agent usually don’t require a fresh form. Initial and date the change on the original, and send updated copies to everyone who holds one. For substantive changes — a new agent, a different disposition method — start over with a new form, new signatures, and new distribution.
One last check: make sure your other estate documents don’t contradict the directive. A will can include funeral wishes, but wills are often not read until well past the window for disposition decisions. If you have a healthcare power of attorney that touches on disposition, or a prepaid funeral contract with a specific funeral home, confirm they say the same thing as the directive. In some states, a preneed contract takes priority over both the directive and the will. Tell your attorney about every document so inconsistencies get flagged before they become your family’s problem.