Family mediation in England and Wales is a structured, confidential process in which a trained neutral helps separating couples reach their own agreements about children, finances, or both. In most cases you have to try it, or at least attend an assessment meeting, before a court will accept an application about child arrangements or finances. The cost ranges from nothing, if you qualify for legal aid, to a few hundred pounds per person for a straightforward case paid privately, with a government voucher of up to £500 available for disputes involving children.
The MIAM: Your First Step
Section 10 of the Children and Families Act 2014 makes it compulsory to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, known as a MIAM, before filing certain family court applications.1legislation.gov.uk. Children and Families Act 2014 The requirement applies to applications for child arrangement orders (usually filed on a C100) and financial remedy orders (filed on a Form A).2GOV.UK. Family Procedure Rules – Practice Direction 3A
At the meeting, a qualified mediator explains how mediation works, outlines other ways to resolve the dispute, and assesses whether your case is suitable. Each person attends a separate MIAM so the mediator can screen for safety concerns privately. If mediation is not right, or the other person will not take part, the mediator signs your court form so you can apply.
A MIAM signature is valid for four months. Wait longer than that before filing and you will need a fresh meeting.3Family Mediation Council. What Is a MIAM Without a mediator’s signature or a valid exemption, the court office will normally reject your application.
When You Can Skip the MIAM
Practice Direction 3A sets out the exemptions.2GOV.UK. Family Procedure Rules – Practice Direction 3A The most commonly used are:
- Domestic abuse, where you can supply evidence such as a relevant police caution or arrest, a protective injunction, a finding of fact in earlier proceedings, a letter from an independent domestic abuse advisor, a referral from a health professional to a specialist service, or a letter confirming involvement with a multi-agency risk assessment conference.
- Urgency, where there is a risk to life, liberty, or physical safety, a risk of a child being unlawfully removed from the country, or a risk that evidence or assets will be disposed of.
- Previous MIAM attendance or attempted mediation about the same dispute within the last four months.
- The other party cannot be located, or lives outside England and Wales.
You must state on the court form which exemption you are relying on. A judge can question it at the first hearing, and if unpersuaded can adjourn the case and send you to a MIAM before it goes further.
If the Other Person Refuses to Mediate
Mediation only works when both people agree to take part. If you attend your MIAM and the other party will not, the mediator confirms this on your court form and you can proceed with the application. You have done what the law asks by attending yourself.
The refusing party may face consequences. A judge can direct them to attend a MIAM and adjourn the case in the meantime. In financial cases, courts have increasingly ordered a party who refused unreasonably to contribute toward the other side’s legal costs. Nobody, however, can be forced into the mediation sessions themselves. The Children Act 1989 prevents a court from directing an individual to take part in mediation. The MIAM is compulsory; mediation beyond that is voluntary.
Legal Aid: Free Mediation for Those Who Qualify
The Legal Aid, Sentencing and Punishment of Offenders Act 2012 funds family mediation for people who pass a means test on income and capital.4Legislation.gov.uk. Legal Aid, Sentencing and Punishment of Offenders Act 2012 From 6 April 2026 the thresholds are:
- Gross monthly income of £2,657 or less, with £222 added for each child dependant beyond the fourth.
- Disposable monthly income of £733 or less.
- Disposable capital of £8,000 or less.
These figures come from the Legal Aid Agency’s eligibility keycard.5GOV.UK. Legal Aid Eligibility Keycard
You automatically satisfy the income test if you receive Income Support, income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance, income-related Employment and Support Allowance, Guarantee Credit, or Universal Credit.6GOV.UK. Lord Chancellors Guidance on Determining Financial Eligibility for Controlled Work and Family Mediation This “passporting” covers income only. Your capital is still tested separately, so savings above £8,000 can disqualify you even if you receive a qualifying benefit.7GOV.UK. Civil Legal Aid – Means Testing
When one party qualifies, legal aid pays for the MIAM for both parties.8Family Mediation Council. Publicly-Funded Mediation The qualifying party’s later joint sessions are fully funded, including the mediator’s time drafting the written agreement. The other party, if they do not qualify, pays privately for their share. Bring recent bank statements, payslips, and proof of any benefits when you first contact the mediator.
The Family Mediation Voucher: Up to £500
Separately from legal aid, the Ministry of Justice runs a voucher scheme that contributes up to £500 toward joint mediation sessions.9GOV.UK. Family Mediation Voucher Scheme It applies to disputes about child arrangements, and to combined child and financial disputes. Purely financial cases with no children element are not eligible.10Justice UK. Practice Direction 36V – Pilot Scheme Family Mediation Voucher Scheme
There is no means test, so your income is irrelevant. The voucher cannot pay for the MIAM itself, only for the joint sessions that follow. The mediator applies for it on your behalf once mediation begins, and anything above £500 is your responsibility.
The scheme is a pilot under Practice Direction 36V, currently set to run until 31 March 2029. The Ministry of Justice confirmed in March 2026 that funding would continue beyond the initial review point.
What Private Mediation Costs
If you do not qualify for legal aid and the voucher does not apply, you pay the mediator’s standard rate. The Family Mediation Council estimates £130 to £170 per person per hour for sessions and written documentation, varying by location and complexity.11Family Mediation Council. What Does Mediation Cost Most cases run to between two and four sessions, so a straightforward matter typically costs from around £500 to £1,400 per person. Financial disputes involving pensions or businesses sit at the higher end because they require fuller disclosure and more time.
How the Process Runs
Find a mediator through the Family Mediation Council’s register, which shows accreditation status, whether a mediator can sign court forms, and whether they offer legally aided work.12Family Mediation Council. FMC Register Search After you choose a provider and return their intake forms, the service arranges your MIAM. Each person attends separately.
If both of you decide to continue, the mediator sets up joint sessions. These focus on identifying what each of you needs, exploring options, and negotiating terms. The mediator does not take sides or make decisions; their job is to keep the conversation structured and productive. When you reach agreement, the mediator drafts a Memorandum of Understanding setting out the terms in plain language.
Preparing Your Paperwork
The more organised you are before the first session, the less time (and money) the process takes. Fill in intake forms accurately, since they shape the mediator’s initial assessment. For financial mediation, gather recent bank statements and payslips, mortgage or rental agreements, details of debts and credit commitments, and valuations of significant assets.
Pensions are often the largest asset after the family home, and they are the most commonly overlooked. If either of you has a defined benefit pension (a final salary scheme, common among teachers, NHS staff, police, and civil servants), request a Cash Equivalent Transfer Value from the pension administrator as early as you can. Schemes can take weeks to produce one, and finances cannot be settled properly without it.
Hearing From the Children
The Family Mediation Council’s Code of Practice requires mediators to offer children aged 10 and above the chance to have their views heard directly, if the child wishes.13Family Mediation Council. Can My Children Be Involved in Sessions Participation is voluntary. A trained child specialist meets the child separately from the parents and feeds back carefully considered reflections. The child is never asked to choose between parents or to make decisions.
Shuttle Mediation Where Safety Is a Concern
Where a history of domestic abuse or intimidation makes sitting in the same room unsafe, shuttle mediation keeps the parties in separate rooms throughout, with the mediator moving between them. There is no face-to-face contact at all. The format gives the mediator more control over how information is exchanged and can be the only safe way to attempt a negotiated outcome in cases involving coercive control, serious violence, or stalking.
Turning an Agreement Into Something Enforceable
The Memorandum of Understanding is a record of what you agreed. It is not legally binding on its own.
Financial Agreements
For financial arrangements on divorce or dissolution, you need a consent order approved by a judge. You draft the order based on your mediation agreement, both sign it, complete a Form D81 statement of information summarising each person’s finances, and send everything to the court with a £60 fee.14GOV.UK. Money and Property When You Divorce or Separate – If You Agree Most people instruct a solicitor to draft the order, though you can do it yourself. In most cases a judge reviews the paperwork on the papers and approves the order if it appears fair.
A consent order cannot be approved before you have a conditional order (formerly decree nisi), and only takes effect once the final order (formerly decree absolute) is granted. A clean break order, a type of consent order, ends all future financial claims between you permanently. Without one, either party can return to court years later to make a financial claim, even after the divorce is finalised.
Children Arrangements
An agreement about children does not need a court order to work in practice. Many parents follow the mediated arrangement informally. If you want it to be enforceable, you can ask the court to make it into a child arrangements order. Breaching a court order carries real consequences, including enforcement action; breaching an informal agreement does not.