Yes — in almost every state, you can legally require your 20-year-old to move out of your house. What trips parents up is the how. Once an adult child has been living with you as their home, the law usually treats them as an occupant with rights, so the answer to “can I kick my 20 year old out of the house” is that you can, but generally through written notice and, if they refuse, a formal eviction rather than a changed lock. From first notice to a sheriff walking them out, plan on five weeks to several months.
Do You Still Have to House Them at 20?
In most of the country, your legal duty to house, feed, or financially support your child ends at 18, the age of majority.1Legal Information Institute. Age of Majority Three states set it higher: Alabama and Nebraska at 19, Mississippi at 21.2Interstate Commission for Juveniles. Age Matrix By 20, unless you live in Mississippi, no general legal obligation forces you to keep providing a roof.
Two exceptions matter. If a divorce or custody order requires you to support your child past 18, that obligation stands until a court modifies it. And several states extend a parent’s duty of support when an adult child has a significant physical or mental disability that prevents them from being self-supporting. More on the disability piece below.
Why Your Adult Child Probably Has Tenant Rights
No lease, no rent — most parents assume that means no legal standing. It doesn’t. If your 20-year-old has been living in your home as their primary residence, most jurisdictions classify them as a tenant at will or a similar occupant with legal protections. Courts look at the practical reality, not paperwork.
What builds a claim of established residency: receiving mail at the address, keeping personal belongings there, using the address on a driver’s license or government documents, and having lived there for more than a brief visit. Paying a share of household expenses strengthens it further but isn’t required. In short, landlord-tenant law applies even though no one in the family thinks of it that way. You’re the property owner; your child is an occupant with legal standing; the process that follows is the same one any landlord would use.
Step One: Give Written Notice to Vacate
You cannot skip this step and go straight to court. The first formal move is a written notice telling your adult child they need to leave by a specific date. Notice periods vary by jurisdiction but generally fall between 30 and 60 days for a month-to-month or at-will occupant. Thirty days is the most common minimum.
The notice should be in writing, state the exact date by which your child must be out, and be delivered in a way your local rules recognize as valid. Accepted methods typically include personal hand-delivery and posting the notice on the door; some jurisdictions also allow certified mail. Verbal demands, text messages, and shouted arguments do not count, no matter how clear you were.
Most family situations resolve at this stage, especially once your child understands that a court filing will follow if they stay. If the notice period passes and they’re still there, you move to the courts.
Step Two: The Formal Eviction
Evicting a family member follows the same framework as any other eviction. Expect several weeks at minimum, and longer if your child hires a lawyer or contests it.
Filing the Case
After your notice period expires, you file a complaint — commonly called an unlawful detainer action — with your local court. The complaint has to show that you gave proper written notice, the notice period has passed, and the occupant hasn’t left. Filing fees vary widely but generally run a few hundred dollars. You’ll also need to have your child formally served with the court papers, which can cost anywhere from about $20 to several hundred dollars if you use a professional process server.
The Hearing
Both sides get to speak to a judge. Your burden is to show you own the property, gave legally adequate notice, and that your child has no contractual or court-ordered right to stay. Your child can raise defenses: that the notice was defective, that the required time period wasn’t met, or that a disability-related support obligation applies. If the judge rules in your favor, the court issues a judgment for possession.3National Low Income Housing Coalition. Evictions 101 – The Eviction Process – How It Works and What to Know
The Sheriff’s Role
A judgment on paper doesn’t remove anyone. You take it to local law enforcement, usually the sheriff’s office, and request a writ of possession. A sheriff or marshal then posts a final notice giving your child a short window to leave voluntarily before returning to escort them out.3National Low Income Housing Coalition. Evictions 101 – The Eviction Process – How It Works and What to Know This step carries its own fee, typically over $100.
What You Cannot Do
Self-help eviction is illegal in every state, and being the parent doesn’t change that. You cannot change the locks while your child is out, shut off utilities to make the home unlivable, remove their belongings, or physically block them from entering. Courts treat these actions seriously because they bypass the process designed to keep occupants from being thrown out without warning.
If you do any of it, your child can sue and potentially recover the cost of alternative housing, emotional distress damages, attorney’s fees, and statutory penalties that vary by jurisdiction. In some places, a court can order you to let them back in immediately. An illegal shortcut usually makes the whole process take longer and cost more than doing it properly from the start.
What Happens to Their Belongings
Even after a successful eviction, you generally cannot toss your child’s things in the trash. Most states have specific rules on how long you must store an evicted occupant’s personal property and what notice you have to give before disposing of it. The details vary, but the principle is consistent: your child needs a reasonable opportunity to collect their things.
Some jurisdictions set a waiting period, often somewhere between 24 hours and 30 days, during which the former occupant can retrieve their property. Others let you move the belongings to storage and hold a lien for the storage costs. Getting rid of things too quickly, or without proper notice, can expose you to a civil suit for the value of what you destroyed. Document everything with photos and give written notice before disposing of anything.
If Your Adult Child Has a Disability
The rules shift when your child has a physical or mental disability that prevents them from supporting themselves. A number of states impose a continuing duty on parents to support an adult child who cannot earn a living due to a significant impairment. The legal rationale: if a parent can afford it, the state would rather the parent pay than public assistance.
These extended obligations typically apply only when the disability is severe enough to prevent self-sufficiency, usually measured in economic terms — whether your child can realistically hold employment and meet basic needs. Substance abuse alone generally doesn’t qualify. The disability may also need to have originated before your child reached the age of majority, though states differ on that timing.
Benefits are another wrinkle. If your child receives Supplemental Security Income and isn’t paying their full share of shelter costs, their monthly payment may already be reduced by up to one-third of the federal benefit rate.4Social Security Administration. Spotlight on Living Arrangements Losing stable housing doesn’t disqualify anyone from SSI, but it creates practical problems for maintaining benefits, receiving mail, and keeping appointments. If your child has a disability, talk to a lawyer before you file anything.
Alternatives Worth Trying First
Court eviction works, but it’s slow, expensive, and leaves a legal record that can follow your child into future rental applications. Before filing, consider whether a structured alternative could get you the same outcome.
A written move-out agreement with a firm deadline is often the most effective option. Put the date in writing, have both parties sign it, and spell out what happens if the deadline passes. Your child gets a clear timeline; you get documentation if the situation eventually goes to court. Some families attach financial incentives — offering to cover a security deposit or first month’s rent elsewhere in exchange for a peaceful departure by the agreed date.
If communication has broken down, a family mediator can help structure the conversation. Mediation costs a fraction of litigation, and some courts require it before they’ll schedule an eviction hearing. The goal isn’t winning; it’s an agreement both sides will actually follow.
When none of that works and your child simply refuses to leave, formal eviction is your only legal path forward. Don’t let frustration push you into self-help tactics that create bigger problems than the one you started with.
What It Will Cost
The bills add up faster than most parents expect. Court filing fees typically run a few hundred dollars. A process server to deliver the court papers can run from about $20 to $400. If the sheriff has to execute a writ of possession, that fee commonly exceeds $100. And if you bring in an attorney, legal fees can easily add several hundred to a few thousand dollars depending on whether your child contests the case. Even an uncontested, straightforward eviction usually leaves you several hundred dollars out of pocket by the time everyone has been paid.